When Not Interested Just Isn’t Enough
Geplaatst op 25-06-2024
Categorie: Lifestyle
Have you ever been at the receiving end of some romantic advances you just weren’t that into? Did you try to throw out subtle clues that “short and middle-aged with two kids and alimony payments” wasn’t your type? Did this dude just not quite get it?
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Well, a new study has found that men deemed as having “aggressive” pickup tactics just don’t always receive the not-interested memo as quickly as their more in-tune counterparts. Fear not, gals, for I’m thinking you need to up the ante and throw out the most obvious “NO!” you can conjure.
Short of shouting in his face, here are a few tricks that shouldn’t fail you (and shouldn’t fail to give your onlooking friends a laugh).
Stop Him Mid-Sentence and Break Out the Faux Sign Language
Unless he volunteers with deaf children on the weekends, he’ll have no idea what’s going on and not want to find out. Think this is an incredibly insensitive and inappropriate move? Well think about how incredibly insensitive and inappropriate it’ll be when broseph decided to slip his hand down the back of your jeans. You’ll be glad you whipped out the big (finger) guns.
Refuse the Drink He Just Bought You
Sometimes you’ve got to play the bitch in order to escape. So you told him “No, thanks” when he offered to refresh your gin and tonic. But he ordered it anyway. Then you said “No, thanks” when he slid the new drink your way. But he still placed it in front of you. Don’t drink it and look in the opposite direction. 911 eye signals to your best buds should bring in the reinforcements, leaving you with a new circle to talk to.
Praise the Lord
You know how some people pray before eating? Well, grab his hands and insist you need to bless the alcohol you’re about to consume. If you really want to go for the gold, close your eyes and start speaking in tongues before dropping to the floor in a shaking fit. He’ll think he’s watching Sunday morning public television in Texas, and you’ll be relieved of his company faster than Jesus could cure a leper.
Out-Do Him
So he’s telling you how he’s 43 still living with his mother and dog, Mr. Waggles? Tell him that you recently contracted Herpes and are thinking of a sex change. Does he have a thing for NASCAR and those gross beer can helmets with the long straws? No habla Ingles.
Walk Away
When all else fails, simply walk away. Don’t worry about hurting his pride; there are at least six other girls at the bar who are just dying to try these moves out on him.
“He’s Just Not That Into You” Ruined Me
I remember when my best friend handed me a well-worn copy of He’s Just Not That Into You. I had been dealing with a rather strange relationship involving a boy who loved to spoon and cuddle, but had zero interest in trying to jam his tongue down my throat.
“Just read it,” she urged.
And I did. In fact, I spent the next 6 hours curled up in my papasan chair having aha moment after aha moment. I realized at long last that there are so many obvious signals guys were sending that I just refused to acknowledge. And now that I had, I was able to move on to greener pastures…or boys who liked to snuggle AND see me naked.
Four years and a film adaptation later, I sit here – still single – wondering if instead of fixing my dating ways, He’s Just Not That Into You has totally effed up my ability to find or maintain a relationship.
As we all know, the purpose of the book was to remind women that guys are simple creatures and if they are into you, they will let you know. If they aren’t introducing you to their parents, they aren’t into you. If they aren’t calling you back after you hook up, they aren’t into you. You get the gist.
And while all of that makes sense, it seems (to me, at least) a little too black and white for real life. I get that guys are really easy to read, but I have come to see that this book is just pushing women to reject men before the men reject them.
Men that probably don’t want to reject them, mind you.
The book sets the bar so high that it is almost impossible for guys to make the grade. Yes, guys should call right away when they are into you, but not all of them do. Some of them get busy, some of them don’t know if you are into them, and some of them just prefer to poke you on Facebook. Yet, when he doesn’t call or text immediately (or take you home for Thanksgiving after dating for 3 months) we freak out, hit the bottle (hard), cry a little bit (to the sounds of John Hiatt blaring from iTunes), and write that bastard off.
“I don’t need to sit around and wait for someone. He’s clearly not into me.”
And like that, we’ve pushed a perfectly good guy away before he even has the chance to prove that he is that into us. He hasn’t even gone up to bat yet and he’s somehow already struck out.
No one wants to be strung along by someone they care about, but are we acting too soon? Sure, the beginning stages of a relationship are so frustrating with all that uncertainty, but isn’t that the fun of it all? I’m not saying we should continue to cuddle with a guy who clearly just wants someone to fill that empty space in his bed, but maybe we could give guys a little leeway.
If we don’t, what will our future hold? A knitting habit and 17 cats?